the coldest winter pt. ii.

everybody makes them but

I wanted to be the one whose mistakes don’t show,

I’ve let everyone down;

even I can’t put up with me no more.

 

I always took things as they came;

I build upon what others would regret,

as usual I’m the only one I’m gonna blame

but now I want a time machine to avoid the upsets.

it hurts in the tête. it hurts I can’t forget.

it hurts to think of everything we could’ve became.

 

it’s chaos in my brain, my body’s full of pain,

I don’t know myself anymore,

you’re not the only stranger in the rain,

I can’t tell if the name I deplore’s even mine anymore.

 

Now I’m a collection of yearnings and lies I told myself,

I quite need what you always provided,

love, empowerment, opportunity and help.

ode to anti-hero everyman.

(wowww it has been a while, hasn’t it? I apologise. I’m horrific under a workload. I often convince myself I have an XXL one as well ugh xD)
(on a more post content-related note; open your eyes because you’re almost always gonna find an anti-hero everyman, almost everywhere. always. everywhere. almost.)

Oh blind-side plus,
Won’t call someone outright “beautiful” or “intelligent”,
But you still know how to treat us.

Oh boy never-next-door,
You’ll say we’re “not-dumb” and “not-ugly”,
No wonder everyone thinks of you an extra bore,
But they never got to know you more.

Oh classroom anti-hero,
Not even you know
That you’re the quotidian key-role,
The bridge between the feel-good that grows
To make us feel-great, us undeserving minnows.

Exploited blind-side plus,
Angelic boy never-next-door,
My purposeful pulse,
Oh classroom anti-hero.

the coldest winter.

(exams right now: yay ugh. these ones carry the most significance in my life so far so ye what better way to take some pressure off than procrastinate [wasted far too much time yeesh] here, right?)

[Trice]: And what I had for you was a need,
And to be frank my core entertained it,
I held this need, so much I’m losing me
Again. The elegant touch of this pit
That holds despondent water with my head underneath;
My mirror’s bleeding from its mislead-wrists
But also from its teeth.

Memories don’t fade and the scars still linger,
Goodbye my friend;
Why’d I ever love again?
Memories made
In the coldest winter.

At the end of the day,
A monarch’s just a sinecure,
Equipped but never ready,
Feeling gifted, disillusioned and insecure.

I hate that memories retreat,
Their acquisition being the only
Argument against my frigid feet.
Hell; I’m only celibate, not holy.
But it didn’t stop me from
Crying into my sheets.

Believe me, bestie,
This is in no way an epitaph,
Prithee,
We’re not through; don’t leave, my other half,
Come with me,
Back to being intertwined
And thinking on each other’s behalf;
I’m not leaving.

Memories made in the coldest winter,
Goodbye my friend,
I won’t ever love again.
Never again.

It’s not just me shedding essence,
I hate to admit it but I have to accept
Irrevocably, a searing, dumbing absence
Of you. But;
Who’d I be without you?

(I didn’t mean to sweet-talk in any manner xD BUT HOW COULD I LEAVE THESE TWO OUT HUH? :’) )

well this has been dessicant *cri*.

(to start off with a little clarity, this is a “I haven’t been posting lately I cannaht” – post, yeah :/)

I’ll begin by exclaiming the fact that I really amn’t one for excuses. Honestly.

But it’s been a comparatively barren month, yeah.

I’ve had my preliminary mock exams taking up the largest part of the month, still not a worthy excuse.

*sigh* I’ve thirty-three drafts running and I open several every night but I can’t actually get around to writing anything ugh; it’s like cognition condition-zero here BLEH

Gah so yeah; this post doesn’t serve much of a purpose apart from the fact that it’s a little like a softcopy-slap in the face. That’s because seriously, who apart from myself actually reads this blog?

 

 

It takes a bit to realise that Superman’s greatest weakness wasn’t Kryptonite but the fact that he let himself be no more than a Cold War) weapon.The same goes for Doctor Manhattan. And a great majority of the rest of us.

It takes a bit to realise that Superman’s greatest weakness wasn’t Kryptonite but the fact that he let himself be no more than a Cold War) weapon.The same goes for Doctor Manhattan. And a great majority of the rest of us.